Wednesday, November 7, 2012

It's not a funny one.

I hate politics.

It's true. I said it. I said it because it's true.

They can be messy and cruel and they make my stomach turn.

I understand the importance of knowing what's going on and being an informed and involved citizen, but honestly, when it comes to talking about it, I'd rather not.

Maybe that makes me a bad person. Maybe that means something worse and more than what I think it means, but it's just how I feel.

Last night I sat with a nervous shake in my leg, coloring the states on the map in red and blue as numbers and figures flashed across a screen.

I wasn't going to be thrilled either way, but I knew that the fate of our country for the next four years was about to be decided. I won't lie, I had a bigger push one way, but I knew that I would feel the consequences no matter what the outcome.

At the end of the night I turned off the television, closed my facebook and twitter accounts and resolved to finish reading my book. I put on some music and later talked to my sister and her boyfriend. I did anything but really think about the election. I tired myself out so sleep would come easy.

And I still woke up this morning to social media that hadn't quite let go of the events of the night before. I don't blame them, and I didn't expect them to. It's kind of a big deal. And words were everywhere. Messages of support and excitement. Statuses and tweets showing disappointment and resolve. Relief that this mess was now over and soon people would turn their attention to anything else but those things which gave them cause for tirades demonstrating newfound superiority, delusions of omniscience, and self-righteous indignation. And the quiet dignities of those who choose simply to pray. To say that life will still go on.

I expected most of these things. There were some things that I did not expect.

Last night, nearly 400 students at the University of Mississippi rioted over the re-election of Barack Obama. They yelled racial slurs and burned his campaign posters. There was profanity and hate.

I know this isn't a proper representation of the university as a whole, but it hurts me to think about it.

One of my kids, one of my kids who is black, yesterday posted a status about her sister calling her after the election to make sure she was alright. I didn't understand. Then she went on to say that Texas A&M was better than that. That she wouldn't be in danger there. And she was right! No one there would ever hurt her! That kind of bigotry and hatred doesn't live at my school. It doesn't live at any institution of higher learning. Because there may be ignorance in the world but people are better than that!

But now I've been forced to rethink a little bit. I don't think anyone at Ol'Miss would ever hurt anyone. Would ever endanger the lives of the people they cheer alongside at football games and learn next to in class. I really don't. And as far as the riot, I'm sure that emotions were just high. And maybe people had been drinking. And I want so desperately to believe that was all it really was. 

I do believe that people are good. And I want to believe that evil is inherently ignorance and fear.

I'm just kind of disappointed in people right now. I'm hurt that my faith in humanity is being tested.

And as much as I hate politics, and as much as I hate talking about them I will say this:

I don't want a black president. I don't want a female president. I don't want a president who's white, gray, purple or green. I don't want a president that's Hispanic or tall, or Catholic or attractive, or who happens to like the same sports team as me. I just want - I just need a president that is good. That is capable. That is honest. That is well-intentioned and well-informed and truly looking out for the good of the American people. And if you're going to get angry about anything it should be about proof that the person we have put in office does not live up to those standards. And if you have those emotions,turn them around in a positive and constructive way! If you feel we stumbled this time around, then do something to make sure that the next person we put in a place of importance can be the right person for the job. And know that no one person on this earth has the end-all say, and that you have a voice that can be heard. And pray. Always pray. But don't blindly act out and shout hurtful things because you disagree with something that has nothing to do with anything. And remember that our actions are not without consequence.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

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