Friday, November 23, 2012

A B-Movie Christmas Special!

This is the story of my Christmas earrings.

But not like the actual story, because that's not really very entertaining. Well, it's not movie-worthy. That story is just that I happen to love Christmas earrings and have acquired enough that for the past few years (maybe 7?) I have been able to wear a different pair of earrings every day from December 1st through Christmas. More fun fact than silver screen.

Well, I had a friend send me a text message today to tell me about her niece who is wearing her Christmas earrings. It was a victory. A true triumph of the human spirit. Get 'em started young, folks. I mean seriously, when my friends start having kids, they will be getting Christmas earrings from their crazy aunt Tabitha all the time! (Or, you know, every Christmas)

Btw, they totally aren't out of the woods if they have boys. I'll find something to supplement it. I mean, what if they end up having girls and boys? Or just boys? It wouldn't be fair to leave a kid out of an awesome present just because they're not a girl. That would be sexist, and I believe in equality. I can't guarantee that they won't be giant light-up singing buttons or A Christmas Story-esque bunny suits, but eh, cross that bridge when we get to it.


Because I have been sucked in to social media, I tweeted about being reminded that Christmas earring season was upon us. This led to another friend asking if I had found my missing ones. Yes, sadly, some of my Christmas earrings had gone missing. In a few moves and travels, my earrings managed to become separated. I did find some, but now I don't remember where I put them. This is equally distressing.

But out of tragedy comes art! From the ashes, rises the Phoenix! The night is darkest before the dawn! This is all very dramatic stuff.

I still have about a week to reunite them. Thinking about this I realized that the reuniting of the Christmas earrings is like a B-movie Christmas special. And one should stay tuned for a "Saving Christmas" movie special with a special guest appearance by Santa. (That's a lot of special!)

I don't think I'm quite ready for script writing. This is all very conceptual. It's a process. I think I have to be artistically tortured and mope around wearing black for awhile in order to get this done. So, I'll start with the bare bones. Flesh it out later. (I've always liked that imagery.)

I was told that every good Christmas movie has to have an underlying love story. First, I thought maybe I would be in there, and the love of my life would be trying to return the earrings, but maybe I'll take myself out of the equation and just have a pair of earrings that have been separated. They have to find each other. And save Christmas with the power of love. (Cue Huey Lewis & the News)

But here's the cast of characters.

- Santa (duh)
- Christmas earrings (CG animated, not unlike the Smurfs)
- Maybe a reindeer
- Orphan child
- Clueless owner
- Antagonist of some sort

Here's the story-line so far:

I'll play the clueless owner. I'll be kind of like The Master in A Brave Little Toaster, or Andy in Toy Story. Wonderfully loveable, and unaware of their inanimate objects' ability to be animate. My earrings are not only trying to get back to each other, but they're trying to get back to me before I notice that they're missing. They have a calendar and know that the amount of time to get back to me is dwindling. Then maybe they meet up with Santa and have to help save Christmas. And there's a little orphan child that wants to believe in Christmas and Santa but everything and everyone is working against him. And the earrings help him to believe and the magic of Christmas restores everything and everyone! There might also be a unicorn. Who has always wanted to be a reindeer. and that's where the reindeer comes in. And the earrings all have these crazy personalities that match what they actually are. Like, my polar bear is a little grumpy or maybe addicted to Coke. (The drink, not the drug - family friendly, y'all). And the penguins will be quirky. And the little Santas will be TOTALLY confused when they meet Santa because they kind of believe that they ARE Santa. And the bad guy could be an earring whose partner was thought to be destroyed a long time ago so now he's bitter and angry and wants the other earrings to suffer like he has. But he isn't really bad, he just is lonely and wants the others to stay with him and acts out of desperation. Hmmm. Maybe he can replace the need for an orphan. There could be an act of self-sacrifice, or maybe he finds love anew. In a script this all makes sense and all the loose ends are tied up neatly in a beautiful Christmas bow. But seriously, sometimes continuity and competency is just overrated.

It's a work in progress, but I think I've got something here. I'm gonna end up selling it to Hollywood eventually. Maybe someone from Lifetime or the Hallmark channel will pick it up. But I'll only sell if they can guarantee that my art will not be compromised. Or they offer me the right amount of money. Same difference.

P.S. Still working on a snazzy title. Maybe "Listening for Christmas" or something that makes sense and also ties into ears somehow.

P.P.S. The title will TOTALLY be mentioned in the movie, because that's one of my favorite parts of movie watching - where I understand where the title came from.

1 comment:

  1. I love this movie idea!!! I actually think it's quite brilliant, and unique. And really, it might ACTUALLY be a good movie! ;)